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Resources for Intentional Living


When I read this quote by Alice Walker, the author of the Pulitzer prize winning novel “The Color Purple,” I feel both called out and called to action. It is the reminder I need to be more intentional with my time and choices and to remember that the things I do today will make a difference in my tomorrow, both good and not so good.


Maybe this quote brings up similar thoughts for you. Maybe for you, like it is for me, the business of summer has gotten in the way and the days are speeding past. Or maybe you have the desire to do some “constructing,” but you don’t know where to start.


“Looking closely at the present you are constructing” could look like doing some therapeutic work in between sessions, outside the therapy office. Bibliotherapy (the use of reading material for help in solving personal problems), trying out a mental health app on your phone, taking an online course, trying out guided meditation and mindfulness, listening to a new podcast, intentionally pouring into a relationship with a partner, child, parent, friend, or God……these are all examples of the therapeutic work I’m suggesting, and I’ve put together a short list of recommended resources to get you started.


My suggestion….read or listen to something that sparks your interest, mull it over while on a walk, talk about it with a friend, journal about it, and bring it up in your next counseling session. My guess is that taking in some new ideas or different perspectives might give you something to think about and potentially some tools to apply to your life and that intentional focus and action will move you closer to “the future you are dreaming.”


Mental Health App

Meomind

This app is free and allows you to listen in on therapy sessions between a licensed therapist and a client that match up with issues you are dealing with. Sessions are short 15-20 minutes and some teach specific skills.


Guided Meditation and Mindfulness Apps

Headspace

Calm


Happiness Online Course

The Science of Well Being (There are adult and teen versions.)

This is a FREE course available on the platform Coursera taught by the Yale professor Laurie Santos. Wildly popular with Yale students, Professor Laurie Santos reveals misconceptions about happiness, annoying features of the mind that lead us to think the way we do, and the research that can help us change.


Happiness Book

“The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean my Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun” by Gretchen Rubin


Happiness Podcasts

“Happier" with Gretchen Rubin

“Ten Percent Happier" with Dan Harris

“The Happiness Lab” with Dr. Laurie Santos


Parenting Books

“Good Inside” by Dr. Becky Kennedy

“The Emotional Lives of Teenagers” by Dr. Lisa Damour

“Are my Kids on Track? The 12 Emotional, Social, and Spiritual Milestones Your Child Needs to Reach” by Sissy Goff, Dabvid Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan


Parenting Podcasts

“Good Inside” with Dr. Becky Kennedy

“Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting” with Dr. Lisa Damour

“Raising Boys and Girls” with therapists Sissy Goff and Dave Thomas


Courage, Vulnerability, Shame & Empathy

ALL THINGS Brene Brown.

Dr. Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she studies courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy. She has written numerous books, hosted an amazing podcast "Unlocking Us," been a part of a Netflix documentary “The Call to Courage,” and an HBO special called “Atlas of the Heart,” and so much more. Spend some time on her website; read or watch something she has done. It will be time well spent!


Friendship Article


Friendship Podcast

“We Can Do Hard Things” with Glennon Doyle

  • Episode titled “How to fix our loneliness" with Dr.Marisa G Franco

  • Episode titled “The secret of making and keeping friends" with Dr. Marisa G Franco


Couples Therapy podcast

“Where Should We Begin" with Esther Perel


Depression Podcast

“The Hilarious World of Depression”


Podcasts that cover multiple topics

Look through the episodes and pick one that is talking about a topic you connect with


“Kelly Corrigan Wonders”

“Therapy Chat”

“Therapist Uncensored”

“The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych"


Licensed Resident in Counseling


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Stuck in a Stress Tunnel?


Often, time in a therapy session is spent working on the goal of emotion identification. Clinicians work with clients to help them name their emotion and understand the information the emotion may be providing. Feeling overwhelmed, worried and lonely can be like a warning light in a car; lighting up when a minor adjustment needs to be made to avoid a malfunction. Feeling happy, content, and satisfied can let us know that we are making good choices and that an action is helpful for our overall wellbeing.

Why do clinicians spend so much time in session working to name emotions and understand their origin? The authors of the book, “BURNOUT: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” explain that emotions are like tunnels; if a person goes all the way through the tunnel, they get to the light at the end. However, when a person is unable to name, recognize, and work through an emotional tunnel, emotional exhaustion can occur.

One emotion that is prevalent in therapeutic work is feeling “stressed.” Often clients can name the stressor (parenting toddlers, demanding work, financial concerns) but feel trapped in an endless cycle of stress activation. Our bodies are designed to activate a physically demanding response to perceived threat in order to protect us. The stress response impacts numerous systems in our body from our cardiovascular system to our digestive system. Our heart beats faster, and our blood moves quickly through our veins to activate muscles to run. Our digestive system shuts down to conserve energy to fight or run.

However, in today’s society, often the “appropriate” fight or flight response to a stressor is socially looked down on (we can’t exactly fight our co-worker or run away during a presentation). Therefore, it is important to consider what happens when a perceived threat is removed, but the stress cycle has not been completed. The stress cycle is complete when the body perceives safety. Our bodies are not designed to recognize the co-worker leaving the meeting as reaching safety. We have to let our bodies know in a physical way that the perceived threat is no longer an active concern. Without completing the stress cycle, our bodies are stuck in a stress tunnel. Just telling our body that it is safe is not enough to complete the cycle, the physiological shift has to occur to move completely through the tunnel.

If you are noting stress as a prevalent emotion in your life; consider the following physical ways to not only identify stress but allow your body to complete the stress cycle:

1. Physical movement – our bodies complete the stress cycle when they move. Getting active and sweaty even just 20 minutes most days a week lets our body work through the physical process needed to release the stress hormones that were activated in our day.

2. Deep breathing – although not as effective as physical movement, deep breathing does alert the body that it is safe and can help you walk to the end of the stress tunnel.

3. Crying – letting tears flow can help your body complete the stress cycle and alert the body that you are now safe and no longer in danger.

If you’d like to receive more support on emotion identification or identifying active ways to cope with stress, please reach out to KS Services for individual therapy. We are happy to support you on your journey to wellness.


Licensed Professional Counselor

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Protecting Progress in the Summer Months



As the school year comes to a close, kids and teens are excited to enter into summer vacation. Summer can mean relaxed days, more freedom, and more time with friends. But for children and teens who have been working on their own mental health journey (and even those who have not been actively working for wellness), summer can also bring about risks for relapse. This concept may seem counterintuitive, but it is important for parents to work to protect the progress their kids have made towards wellness during the regular school year. Summer can bring about difficulties for several reasons including lack of schedule, routine, and less engagement with the community. These practices are protective in nature and provide a sense of security, and the absence of these practices can create a feeling of uneasiness for kids and teens.


Finding a balance between rest and protective practices is important for family wellness. Effective communication will be an important part of setting up your family for success this summer. Here are a few tips:

  1. Have a conversation with your kiddo about their ideal summer. Ask open-ended questions to understand what they are hoping for. Validate their desire for rest and relaxation - it is hard being in school all year, and the desire for a break makes sense!

  2. Use “I Feel” statements about your hopes for a successful summer

    1. I feel worried when we don’t have anything on our schedule because it can lead to boredom. What I need is for you to help me make a flexible schedule for our summer break

  3. Using the input you gathered, set up a flexible schedule that provides some consistency in the routine but does not closely resemble a typical school day. The pieces of the routine that are most important for mental health are ensuring there is adequate sleep, outside time, and time with peers. Time with peers can be in a relaxed environment (at the neighborhood pool), at a volunteer opportunity, at a part time job, or with a summer camp. Each step of the way, be sure to gather your kiddo’s input and be open to their suggestions and ideas for ways of doing things.


If you feel you need support in these conversations, please reach out to a mental health professional for support. A licensed counselor can help you navigate these concerns with family or individual support.


Licensed Professional Counselor



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