Starting Group Therapy? Explaining individual and group therapy to your child

When a child is getting ready to start individual or group counseling sessions, parents often wonder how best to introduce the topic to their child. While many older pre-teens and adolescents have a general understanding of therapy and the basic goals of therapy work, children may feel a bit confused about spending time in an office with a new adult. Here are a few recommendations that may help guide an effective conversation with your child:

1. Always choose an appropriate time. Avoid mentioning therapy when your child is experiencing big emotions. Talking about therapy during times of dysregulation may make therapy seem like a punishment, threat or a consequence. Instead, talk to your kiddo about going to individual or group therapy sessions when your child is calm and rested. Be sure to give your child time to process the information prior to the appointment.

2. Explore what your child already knows about counseling. Most kids have had some exposure to counselors through their school environment. Ask them what they know about counselors and any questions that they may have about what a counselor does. This will help you keep the conversation efficient by avoiding emphasizing information a child already knows.

3. KS Services provides free consultations prior to the first session. This will ensure that each parent has an understanding of what can be expected in a given session. For children twelve and under, counselors at KS Services will work to understand a few of the child’s interests in order to incorporate those in session (ie Legos, paint, drawing, etc). Use this information to provide a glimpse of what therapy will be like and what the child can expect in their first session. Let your child know that individual or group therapy will involve more than just talking - kids have freedom to paint, play games, build, and even pet emotional support animals!

4. Kids like a preview of what topics may be covered. If you are signed up for a group, use the information provided to give your child an overview of some of the topics that may come up. Let your child know that therapy is flexible and often counselors will focus on the topics that the kids bring up. Reassure your child that therapy isn’t only about things that are hard, but therapists love to hear about things that are going well too.

5. Present counseling sessions as learning experiences that are fun and engaging. Let your child know that they are signed up for a group or individual session as an opportunity to learn more about themselves, their friends, and their family. Present counseling sessions as an adventure in self-discovery. Let them know that this opportunity is a learning opportunity just like any other after school activity that they participate in. That may sound something like, “Just like we sign up for soccer so we can learn how to be a good teammate and skills for the field, we signed up for this to learn how to understand our own feelings and thoughts and learn skills for everyday communication."

If you have any questions about how to approach this conversation with your child, do not hesitate to reach out to KS Services at counseling@keystoneservices.biz. And if you have not yet had a chance to sign up for a group that KS Services is currently offering, please check out our "Join A Group" page here.

Laura Waller, MS, LPC, NCC, ADHD-CCSP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Fall Group Options at KS Services

KS Services is excited to host fall groups for children, teens, and adults starting mid-September. Groups provide a unique opportunity to engage in connection with peers who are typically experiencing similar life stages and stressors. While each group is different depending on overall group goals, group therapy provides opportunity for normalization, feelings of reduced isolation, and support.

Check out the three groups currently being offered at KS Services listed below:

Emotional Literacy for students in 3rd - 5th grade

In this group students will engage in activities to enhance their ability to effectively identify, regulate, and communicate about their emotions. Emotional literacy skills will be taught through the use of therapeutic art, games, and play. Topics covered in the group will include understanding and naming complex emotions, identifying effective coping strategies, and improving social skills to foster connection.

The group will meet on Wednesday nights from 6:00-7:00 pm starting Wednesday, September 20th. Please reach out to laura@keystoneservices.biz for more information and to register.

High School Process Group for students in 9th - 12th grade

The KS Services weekly high school process group is specifically designed to be a small group of up to eight students looking to engage in a safe, non- judgemental space for support and connection. Group sessions are tailored to address specific issues raised by group members. Common themes include depression/anxiety, academic and social pressures, relationship conflicts, family dynamics, and life paths/transitions. In a process group, members will be asked to share their own concerns and experiences while being open to receiving feedback from other group members. The counselor will facilitate the conversation and provide psychoeducation.

The group will meet Thursdays from 6:30-8:00 pm starting Thursday, September 21st. Please reach out to kathryn@keystoneservices.biz for more information and to register.

Community Connect: A virtual group for parents of children and teens with ADHD

Community Connect is an ongoing virtual group for parents of children and teens with ADHD. Each group session provides a space for parents of children and teens with ADHD to receive support, connection, resources and psychoeducation. While there is no set agenda for this group, common themes include strategies for executive functioning (time management, organization, motivation) as well as strategies for supporting emotional regulation.

Community Connect meets virtually the first Friday of each month from 12:00-1:00 pm. Please reach out to laura@keystoneservices.biz for more information and to register.

Laura Waller, MS, LPC, NCC, ADHD-CCSP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Being Present with our Kids

One of the most common heart cries of children and teens is wanting to spend quality time with their parents free from a teaching moment or need to perform.

We as parents do not always do this perfectly, nor do we need to be perfect for them to be emotionally healthy, according to attachment research. But if we can be present with our children much of the time when and how they need us in each stage of their development, they are likely to grow up feeling safe, secure, and emotionally healthy.

So how can we be present in a way that helps our children the most? No matter what their age, children need us to just “be with.” This means putting our own agendas on hold at times and letting them lead without our correction or judgment.

When we do a puzzle or build a tower with our toddlers and preschoolers, they are learning mastery. If they are struggling with a puzzle piece or the tower is about to fall, it is tempting to jump in to help. No matter what their age, our children are far better off struggling for a bit, even failing before figuring out problems on their own. This teaches them tolerance and persistence. It also allows them to feel a sense of accomplishment when they do it on their own.

When our children are of elementary school age, they are learning how well they can do things, it is important that we play with them the way they want us to, even if they are not following the rules of a game precisely. This is their way of experimenting and exploring their strengths and weaknesses. As parents, this is a good time to relax and have fun with our children and build trust and safety for the upcoming teen years.

As teenagers, our kids are trying to find out who they are, who they want to be, and how they fit in the world. As parents of adolescents, we tend to focus on their grades, sports, or other activities. It’s a good exercise to be aware of the conversations we have with them. Are our words more about their performance than their character or effort? If we stress their character over their accomplishments, children learn to be confident and secure in who they are, not what they do.

Being home and in our presence may be the only time our children feel safe and comfortable enough to express themselves honestly. There are times when we need to correct them. But the correction will be more effective if they know that we are a safe and loving presence. We can do this by giving our time and attention to them, even if for just ten minutes a day.

Ways to connect with our kids:

• Take interest in their interests, without judgment. Listen to their music and talk about what they like about a particular song or genre. Ask them to teach you their favorite video game.

• Play. Our sense of connectedness increases in our brains when we laugh and be silly together. Make a game out of everyday activities, like playing follow the leader when getting ready in the morning, using silly voices when asking them to do a chore, or dancing in the kitchen while making dinner.

• Go on a date. Carve out special time with each child during the week. Ask them where they want to go (out for coffee or ice cream) or what they want to do (play a board game, bake, go for a bike ride).

• Offer physical touch. Virginia Satir, a renowned psychotherapist who performed important work in family therapy, is noted for this adage: “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Hug your kids; give back rubs or arm massages.

• Be an active listener. Our kids feel connected to us when we are fully present (no phones) and listen without sharing our opinion. One of my frequent responses to my children -- especially when they say something I don’t agree with -- is, “Tell me more about that.” This creates space for them to verbalize their experiences, opinions or emotions, knowing I won’t offer my opinion – at least not yet.

If you or a loved one would like to think more creatively about ways to be present with your child(ren), do not hesitate to reach out to for a free 15-minute consultation with Keystone Services, LLC at counseling@keystoneserives.biz.

Amy Zacaroli, MABC

Licensed Resident in Counseling