ADHD: Things to Love about YOUR Brain

ADHD can come with negative connotations in our society. Words such as “lazy, distracted, or unmotivated” may be used to describe those with an ADHD diagnosis.It is CRUCIAL that the people in your family understand that these labels and stereotypes are wildly out of sync with the reality of an ADHD brain. As we discussed in previous posts, the executive functioning deficits that accompany ADHD are deficits, not character flaws. Here are just a few of the strengths and benefits of an ADHD brain.

Hyperfocus

Remember that ADHD is not an inability to focus, it is difficulty with regulating focus.That means that when an ADHD brain is locked in to a specific task, the hyperfocus on that specific task can produce incredible results. Hours of focus on one problem or product is a hallmark trait of an ADHD mind.

Spontaneity

Impulsivity can sometimes lead to amazing discoveries. Being able to think quickly and try out something new means life is never dull. An ADHD brain is willing to veer off the beaten path and often introduces the neurotypicals of the world to new ways of doing things.

High Energy

Kids and teens with increased energy often are reprimanded for fidgeting and constant movement. However, imagine a world without people who are highly energetic. High energy is contagious and encourages those around it to pursue their own passions and interests.

When working to help your kids and teens understand and externalize the deficits that accompany ADHD brain, consider doing some research on famous people with ADHD and other learning disabilities. The stories that are available can increase confidence and inspire. This article is a great place to start that research:

https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/famous-people-with-dyslexia-learning-differences/

If you have any questions about ADHD or would like to talk with someone at KS Services for a free 15-minute consultation, please reach out at counseling@keystoneservices.biz

Laura Waller, MS, LPC, NCC, ADHD-CCSP

Licensed Professional Counselor

It’s Never Too Late

Have you considered which stage of human development you are in and how it is impacting your life experience? Of the eight developmental stages; Infancy, Toddlerhood, Preschool, Early School Years, Adolescence, Young Adulthood, Middle Adulthood and Late Adulthood, which one are you currently navigating? Each stage presents new challenges and unique opportunities for growth. We may feel knowledgeable and experienced in one stage and then enter a new stage and quickly feel ill equipped and lose confidence. Recognizing the common challenges and highlights that we share with others in the different stages of development can help normalize our circumstances and give us hope.

By late adulthood, we have gained a lifetime of experience and may feel like we have life figured out. In many ways we do, but in this stage our physical health can impact our quality of life. If we are experiencing nagging pain, it can cause us to be irritable and cranky which can put stress on our relationships. Having better self-awareness and communicating our pain more effectively with others allows us to be more agreeable.

Sometimes keeping up with all our doctor appointments can be exhausting and feel like a full-time job! When our energy is low, we slow down physically and opt out of social activities with friends and family which can lead to us feeling isolated. Isolation is known to increase the probability of developing depression and anxiety and can also increases the risk of physical and cognitive decline. Making physical activity a priority, staying involved in our interests and socializing, even when it is a challenge, is the best medicine. If you are experiencing a sense of isolation, anxiety or depression, consider seeking help and talking with a caring professional who can help you explore and navigate your current circumstances and perspective.

Another challenge in late adult life is keeping up with the current culture and navigating technology. There is a large generation gap between Baby Boomers and Gen Z that effects how they relate with one another. If you are finding yourself out of touch with the culture and have difficulty communicating with the younger generations in your family, you may be feeling disconnected. You may feel disheartened with the current culture and feel tempted to voice your opinion or disapproval. In these moments, consider not talking about their culture but rather share stories from your generation. Life before modern safety precautions, the internet and cell phones is fascinating to younger generations.

Today’s technologies can be intimidating and if you have been unable to master them, you may be feeling disconnected from family members who communicate through social media, texts, and Facetime. Seeing our family members buried in their phones can also be frustrating when we want to interact with them.

Exploring and gaining a new perspective on the current culture and coming to terms with our circumstances are all possibilities when we make a decision to change.

If you are a senior adult or know a senior adult who may be suffering silently, know that there is help for you or them. It is never too late to face challenges, make changes and grow…you are not alone! If you are interested in meeting with a mental health counselor, please feel free to reach out to counseling@keystoneservices.biz for a free 15-minute consultation.

Crystal Crum, MS

Licensed Resident in Counseling

ADHD: Now What?

In our series on ADHD, we have worked to understand ADHD as a disorder of regulation, a skill that stems from executive functioning. This new perspective helps us by increasing our empathy and compassion. This new perspective also preserves our relationship with our children by increasing opportunities for connection and decreasing stress in the household. It cannot be stressed enough that understanding ADHD from an executive functioning deficit perspective is the most important part of any ADHD treatment plan.

From this point in understanding, families can move into a support and design stage. In this stage, families can take time to understand where any executive functioning deficits are causing impairment either socially, emotionally or academically. With older children and teens, it is necessary to include them in this evaluation - asking for their feedback regarding where support may be helpful to reduce anxiety and stress. Take time as a family to look at the day and reflect on moments that are routinely the most intense - morning routine, homework, bedtime, etc. If these at-home moments are regulated, ask the teen how the day at school looks - ask about their focus, energy levels, assignment completion, and engagement with peers.

START SMALL. Choose ONE area of the day to focus on that would increase overall wellness for the child and the parent.

EXTERNALIZE. In these conversations, it is important to help the child externalize ADHD, continually reframe any distorted thoughts of character deficits as executive functioning deficits. This can look like: “I know you feel like you are lazy because it is hard to start your homework, but we know that motivation is an executive functioning skill. ADHD makes this difficult, but let's look for a strategy to help.” Pro tip: have these conversations about strategies when the child or teen is regulated and present - not in moments of frustration or conflict.

PRIORITIZE. Choose your priorities in these conversations. Remember how often children are asked to self-regulate during the day. If it is possible to remove any points of conflict over minor requests, do it.

CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION. Connect with your kiddo anytime it is possible. When raising a kid with ADHD, there are many opportunities for correction throughout the day. Consistent correction without a trusted connection can lead to conflict in the relationship. When possible, engage in connection with your kiddo. This can be individual outings (Starbucks!), quick and simple praise (thank you so much for helping walk the dog today!) a high-five over an assignment completed, asking about their current interest, or any other gesture that lets your kiddo know you are connected and present.

For more great applicable strategies, check out Dr Russel Barkley’s book 12 Principles For Raising a Child with ADHD. You can also reach out to KS Services to request a consultation for more resources and support.

Laura Waller, MS, LPC, NCC, ADHD-CCSP

Licensed Professional Counselor