Dr. John Gottman spent years researching communication in marriage and worked to find common themes that made for satisfying unions and themes that led to divorce. While there can be many contributing factors at play in marriage satisfaction, Gottman found that four particular themes were extremely damaging. Gottman labeled these four themes the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. While all marriages will most likely at some point experience these Four Horsemen, healthier relationships were shown to use them much less often. Therefore the goal is not necessarily to completely eradicate them (because that may be impossible) but to identify, replace, and ultimately lessen the frequency of these elements in your communication. Check out this quick guide to the Four Horsemen and their more effective antidotes.
John Gottman’s 4 Horsemen & How to Stop Them with their Antidotes